Fall Apart
by DaniPotterLovesGod
Summary: Kristen discovers something very important as she's being Unwound.  This is dedicated to Sarah and Angel.  Merry Christmas, guys!


**This is my first Unwind story, so please, bear with me.**

**Unwind belongs to Neal Shusterman, and "Fall Apart" belongs to Josh Wilson.**

**Update: This was just recently revised.**

She spikes the volleyball over the net. One boy tries to bounce the ball again, but he misses. Score! 11-6!

She smiles widely, but it fades as quickly as it comes. Winning just does not matter anymore. She stares down at the pale blue cobblestone and walks off the court. It doesn't matter anymore. It really hasn't, not since she found out.

The girl wanders through the halls of pastel blue and pale green to the dormitory, where she sits on one of the fifteen copies of the same bed. She hates the colors of the sheets: pastel yellow and pink. She wonders if it is for some type of freak torture designed for-

_No,_ she thinks. _I refuse to think of myself as one of them._

"Kristen Finch," someone calls from the doorway. Kristen looks up as she brushes chocolate brown hair behind an ear, wonder in her green eyes.

It is a woman with blonde hair and dull, grim eyes in a yellow uniform with two burly men, with dead eyes, behind her.

"Yes?" Kristen asks, her heart thumping in her chest. _This is it,_ she thinks.

"Could you come with us, please?" the woman asks, but it's more like an order.

Kristen stands and walks through the ugly halls with the odd trio. "Where are we going?"

"It's your turn." There were those words. Kristen has been dreading those words since she arrived at the Joyful Joyce's harvest camp in San Francisco, California a few weeks ago. As she walks on the blood red sidewalk on the way to the chop shop, she counts her every step.

**Kristen is fifteen minutes in.**

She feels a sharp pain in her arm and flinches.

"That is the only pain you will be feeling the entire time."

"Are you going to knock me out?" Kristen asks. She doesn't particularly feel like watching herself "be divided" as the tithes would say. In reality, she knows it's death.

"It is illegal to put you under," the nurse says. "You have a right to know what's going to happen to you."

Kristen's heart pumps faster, as if it knows that it will no longer pump her blood to her limbs soon.

"Right as we're talking, we're putting a nutrient and oxygen rich mixture in your veins. Your blood will go to the blood bank. It's not often that we get someone with O-."

Scratch that. It's not blood anymore.

**She is thirty minutes in.**

"You will feel a slight tugging in your feet, but it's nothing to be afraid of," the nurse informs.

"This is complete torture, you know." After a few seconds, Kristen speaks again. "Wait, before you take off my feet, can I look at them and move them one last time?"

There is a pause before the nurse at her side answers. "Go ahead."

Kristen lifts her head from the table and glances at her feet. They had purple polish on the nails. It is chipped and dirty, but that is because she hasn't bothered with her toenails since the juvey-cops came for her. To her dismay, she sees plasma green liquid from her right ankle. Her left foot moves easily, but her right foot just barely twitches.

She chooses not to think about it. Instead she starts talking. "I was a storked baby, and I have asthma. I guess that's why my mother left me on my parents' doorstep. Although, I really wish that she had left me at another house."

"Why is that?" the nurse asks, but Kristen can tell that she doesn't really care.

"The Finches are lying, deceitful, snobby, and rich people. They never spent much time with me when I was little. Instead, they hired a nanny while they went out blackmailing people into giving them money and robbing banks. I had my revenge, though."

"What did you do?"

"When I was nine, I finally learned that what they were doing was wrong. I told the police. The Finches were arrested, but they never went to jail. They have connections everywhere. They always said I was too smart for my own good. It's like in that old story, the _Harry Potter_ series. The Malfoys were the same way. Finally, they couldn't take anymore since I threatened to tell the police again, so they shipped me off here."

It feels strange pouring all her secrets to this strange woman who was aiding in her own death.

**Kristen is an hour in.**

"They are starting on your hands, now," the nurse says. After a second, she speaks again. "Your heart rate is going up. Just try to calm down. Everything is going to be fine."

"I've always liked my hands," Kristen mutters. "I have a boyfriend who's deaf. His name is Colin Moon. He told me all the time that my hands were beautiful. I hope they go to someone who appreciates them as he does."

"That's sweet," the nurse says, again with no emotion.

After a few minutes, Kristen hears a noise from where her feet used to be. She tries not to look down but fails. Where her legs used to be is a clear table. The surgeons wheel it away.

Tears spring to her eyes. She looks up to the ceiling. _Why?_ Kristen cries silently. _Why is this happening, Lord?_

She remembers when she would sneak away on Sundays to church. The pastor always said that God would be there for her. She sang hymns of praise, that He is always there at her side. But where is He now?

_Don't doubt your faith._ Kristen could see in her mind Colin saying this to her.

_But it's so hard Colin,_ she signed back dejectedly. _If God is real, then why is this happening?_

Colin takes a minute before answering, his hands flying. _Do you remember that old song? It's called "Fall Apart." "My whole world is caving in."_

Memories flash through her head of that song. She used to sing it to herself whenever she felt like giving up._ "But I feel you now more than I did then,"_ Kristen finishes. She smiles and embraces the image of Colin. _Yes I remember now. I know that this is just my imagination, but thank you. I think you just saved my soul._ She knows now that God will take care of her. How can she doubt that?

The apparition of Colin smiles before taking her imagined hand. Kristen opens her eyes again to the ceiling. There is a voice speaking to her.

"Kristen!" the nurse exclaims. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes," she says. After a minute, she speaks again. "I feel better now. I'm going to heaven in a little bit."

"What makes you say that?" The nurse sounds genuinely curious.

"God loves me, I know this. And I know that he'll take care of me, no matter what happens."

The nurse does something that actually surprises Kristen. She smiles. "I'm really sorry, but you're going to have to stop talking now."

"Okay."

**She is an hour and forty-seven minutes in.**

She feels a strange calm fall over her. Instead of feeling the cold table beneath her, she feels a warm embrace. She feels more at peace than she has ever been in her life. It feels so good, so… bright. But she knows she's not in heaven yet. She can still hear the doctors as they speak and the clanking of tools.

Through this feeling, she thinks of the lyrics she remembered. _"My whole world is caving in, but I feel you now more than I did then. How can I come to the end of me, yet somehow still have all I need? God I want to know You more. Maybe this is how it starts. I find You when I fall apart."_

She feels a slight tickle on her chest, but she stares at the ceiling. Fear is still lurking around in her mind, but with God on her side, she knows she can face anything.

**Kristen is two hours and fourteen minutes in.**

She can no longer see. _But soon, I'll see a lot better than I ever had. I'll see You, God!_

In her mind, she can visualize Colin in her head again. The imaginary sun is shining off his auburn hair, and delight is in his blue eyes. He hugs her and speaks, surprising Kristen again. "I'll miss you. But we will see each other again really soon." She can feel the rumble in his chest, something that she's never felt before as he had never spoken before.

Kristen leans away and uses sign language. _I look forward to that day._

She smiles, even though as she's on the table, she really can't.

**She is two hours and forty-one minutes in.**

She wonders if the Finches will ever be brought to justice. _Everyone will find out eventually,_ she decides. _If the Malfoys, a family of Dark Wizards, can, the Finches sure will._ She can no longer hear anything. It's almost over. She feels a strange tingling on her scalp.

_I love You, God,_ she thinks. She… feels strange. _What's my name again… What's… going… on…_

There is a bright light. Kristen sees someone. It is a boy with black hair and blue eyes and a smile on his face. It's… Colin?

"Colin?" she asks reflexively. She nearly signs his name, but he takes them in his hands. To her utter amazement, he nods.

"Yeah. I didn't want to see you here so soon."

"What happened to you?"

He frowns. "A week ago, we were going to church, and a drunk guy hit the car. Mom and Dad and Millie made it out. But, as you can see, I didn't."

Kristen is silent. "So it **was** you that came to me when I was Unwound." A huge smile plasters her face. "Thank you for being my guardian angel." She walks forward and pulls Alex into a loving embrace. Over his shoulder, she can see a figure shrouded by white and gold light sitting on a throne. She knows immediately who it is.


End file.
